The Legend of Keltic Tommy


 

Like his teammates, The Cyclone Rangers’ resident tracker, hunter, wilderness guy and expert on dark beers, Keltic Tommy, has a very unique and mysterious past. Keltic Tommy was born approximately three decades ago in the frozen arctic wasteland of Alaska. The Innuit tribe of Native Americans taught Keltic Tommy to hunt, track and fish at a very early age. He soon entered the US Navy where his skills were enhanced and he was trained to shoot big guns and blow things up.

Keltic Tommy is a skilled electrician and tactician. He holds the UN record for securing an enemy encampment and then improving their electrical comsumption efficiency rating. This ability earned him the position of commander of "The Ohm Brigade" a super-secret paramilitary group funded by several unnamed conglomerate electric companies whose job it was to make sure that rival countries and micronations were not misusing electrical power for their own evil purposes.

Keltic Tommy soon grew bored with his position and job, "There’s only so many times you can storm a Soviet Missle Base and rewire their barracks before the thrill goes out of it...." He ultimately left the Ohm Brigade and wandered the country looking for a place he could belong.

He ultimately joined the Cyclone Rangers, where he found a forum for his unique abilities. The adventures he has experienced since his induction into their eclectic ranks have more than sated his appetite for adventure, "Once you’ve stared down an Bug-eyed, god-like, interdimensional nasty with bad breath and delusions of grandeur, and live to have a beer afterward, there’s just nothing else that you want to do with the rest of your life!"

Keltic Tommy is an expert marksman with multiple types of firearms. He prefers black powder rifles however, because, according to Keltic Tommy, they are "more manly." There are stories within the ranks of the Cyclone Rangers about Keltic Tommy sniping a spy for an unfriendly foreign power with a Kentucky long rifle loaded with a superball at 500 yards in the middle of the night, during a thunderstorm with a 7 mph crosswind. Keltic Tommy calls this shot luck, but his fellow rangers know better.

Keltic Tommy is also skilled with several kinds of melee weapons, including rapier, dagger, stick, Scottish Claymore, and axe. His melee weapon of choice however is harpoon. This is due to his Innuit upbringing, and in his own words, " There’s just something rude about killing a man with a harpoon!"

His quick thinking and practical approach to situations has earned him the title of the Cyclone Rangers official "Voice of Reason."

Personal Note: Keltic Tommy has had a joyous year. Keltic Tommy Shaw and lovely artisan, adventurer, and wilderness lover, Priscilla Warmke were married in September of 1998. The Ceremony was performed by Rev. Bryian Winner, (AKA Cyclone One,) and the video was done by Daniel "the Fish" Trout esq. The happy couple has acquired land near The Cyclone Rangers Headquarters, and are building a retreat/training facility/stronghold for the Rangers use. They are currently rasing a baby girl, affectionatly known as "The Bug" or "Buggie" and are busy building their new home.